Just be glad stocks have been out-lawed.

Danville, Ohio (AP)
Local judge sentenced a couple to wear life vests, stand in ankle deep water in a kiddie pool, and hand out water safety brochures on the street. The pair had been convicted of rafting on a closed, flood swollen river without life vests. In a related story, two folks are looking for a cure for wrinkly tootsies.
Protect your ass-ets,
Rodger ;-)