A Higher Power

Lexington, Kentucky (AP)
Man claims God told him to take (steal) a car. (No dear, God told me I didn't have to take out the trash. Might work? Probably not.)
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-)

No, I can wait thank you.

Warsaw, Poland (AFP)
Report says that Poland's public toilets are too scary looking and need to be remodeled. (Too scary looking? The imagination runs wild. Wonder if there are any pictures?)
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-)

What money?

Summersville, New Jersey (Ap)
Man admits to cashing $470,000 in paychecks from a company he did not work for. (Oops!!)
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-)

Why's your shirt moving?

Oslo, Norway (AP)
Man caught trying to smuggle 14 royal pythons and 10 albino geckos into Norway. The fellow had hid the critters UNDER his clothes. (Hey buddy, your shirts moving, and your pants and socks and .........?)
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-)

They walk among us.

Springfield, Mass. (AP)
Woman flashes $25,000 in cash at a bar at night. Later, (yup) she got robbed. (Tweet!!!! outta the pool.)
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-)

RWI part II

Duluth, Minn. (AFP)
Motorized recliner used in a operating a recliner while intoxicated arrest to be auctioned off. (There you go. No more temptation there boy.)
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-)

Resting while intoxicated????

Duluth, Minn. (AP)
Man arrested for operating a motorized recliner on the high way while under the influence. (Ok buddy, where's your recliner receipt and insurance card?)
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-)

Here human, human,

Sydney, (AFP)
Man stuck in tree for 12 hours as crocs circle below. (Wow, talk about up a tree!!!!!)
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-)

They walk among us.

Berlin, (Reuters)
Man, on the way to police for an interrogation for theft, stops and robs another shop. (Well there you go. Stupid strikes again.)
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-)

Oops!!!

Gossau, Switzerland (AP)
Police stop driver for 15 violations in 11 minutes (I'm not even sure how that could happen.)
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-)

Reduced police presence?

Mexico City (AFP)
Government Officials are requiring that city police officers go on diets. (Put the dough nut down and step away!!!!)
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-)

They walk among us.

Little Rock, Ark (AP)
Robber loses wallet at the scene of the crime. Robber calls victim to return the wallet. (Yup, the idiot is in jail. The police returned him his wallet though.)
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-)

Animals Fight Back Again!!!!

Wintersville, Ohio (AP)
7 year old playing backyard football gets tackled by a deer. (Got me. Probably like the other team better.)
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-)

Animals Fight Back

Haysville, Ind (AP)
A great horned owl attacked a Ford F-250 pickup, mangled the radiator, and flew off. (Police are checking Vet Clinics to see the owl has checked in for treatment. Also, pickup drivers have been urged to use extreme caution until the owl is captured. Maybe)
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-)

Age must not matter.

Greensboro, North Carolina (AP)
44 year old man spends a week in jail because he had the same name as a 21 year old suspect. (Didn't y'all read the description? Can y'all read? Hello, hello, anybody in there.)
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-)

So whose pet is it?

Endicott, New York (AP)
Police answering a domestic disturbance call discover a 4 ft. gator. ( Where does one keep a gator in New York anyway? Bathtub? Just wondering.)
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-)

Yup, must be Nebraska.

Lincoln, Nebraska (AP)
Woman assaults police officer with dog. (Yup, went after him with a dog. Sure did, pulled that dog and used it. No, I don't make these up.)
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-)

Now wait a minute!!!

Dublin, Ireland (Reuters)
School asks parents to send toilet paper with students to save money. (Gosh, things must be really bad in Ireland!!)
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-)

Turbulence??? What turbulence????

Mumbai, (Reuters)
Pilots and crew get into a fight aboard an airborne Air India flight. (Now there is a whole new meaning for mid-flight turbulence.)
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-)

Excuse me please.

New York (AFP)
Prisoner escapes by asking guards for the exit. (My Mom always said to be polite and I would get what I asked for.)
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-)

What are they trying to hide?

Gainesville, Fla. (AP)
Officials with the University of Florida have removed their disaster plans for a zombie apocalypse from their public web site. (OK, what are they trying to hide? Why don't they want the rest of the world to know the plans? Just wonderin'?)
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-)

Oops!!!

Dallas, Texas (WFAA)
38 cases of ammo are missing from the Dallas police training center. ( What can I say. Probably, should hire private security, just sayin'.)
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-)

Say What??????

Ottawa, Canada (AFP)
The Canadian government is hiring American educators to teach Canadian soldiers French. (OK, I'm confused. Canada has no French teachers? Don't they speak French in Quebec?)
Protect your assets,
Rodger;-)