I'm late because I hit a bear, no really!!!

Fredon, New Jersey (AP)
   Motorcyclist collides with bear on a state highway at 9:30 AM. (Wonder who had the right of way?)
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-)

When animals fight back!!!!

Memphis, Tenn. (AP)
A "mean spirited" racoon knocked out power to a section of the city. Two hospitals and newspaper were shut down for more than 5 hours. Police are looking for the suspect but are having a hard time because the creature was masked. (Ok, kidding on that last part, maybe)
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-)

Gee whiz. I thought this was a Texan at first.

Auckland, New Zealand (Reuters)
Trapped drunk driver opens another can of beer while awaiting rescue.  (Well there you go, another responsible drinker below the equator.)
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-)

Way too much free time or something.

Ok, loyal readers, I've been out of pocket recently, but I'm back now.
Melbourne, Australia (AFP)
Two Australian men needed sugery after shooting each other in the buttocks to see if it would hurt. (Yup, it hurt.  So much for drinking responsibly.)
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-)

Yup, drink responsibly.

Rome, Ga. (AP)
Man arrested while driving car he had reported stolen. (Yup, under the influence. Tweet outta the gene pool.)
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-D

Bird poop on shoes gave him away..

Los Angeles (AP)
Man was sentenced to 4 months for smuggling song birds under his pants from Viet Nam. The fellow took a direct flight from Viet Nam to Los Angeles.  (Must have been hanging around German reptile smugglers.)
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-D

They said it was chicken.

Miami, Fla. (AFP)
A six foot alligator was captured in a middle school cafeteria. (Wonder who was planning on lunch?)
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-D

Not sure if it was the nudity or yelling Jesus.

Darien, Conn. (AP)
A five car accident which injured three people was caused by a nude man yelling he was Jesus. (I'm not sure if it was the nudity or the claim.)
Rodger ;-)

Maybe we need a tougher test for gun ownership?

Seattle, Washington (AP)
Man accidentally shoots self in testicles while shopping in a department store.  No one else was injured.  (In a related story, man auditions for soprano in local opera group.)
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-D

Ok, that's just insult to injury!!!

Iowa City, Iowa (AP)
I man calling 911 to report getting punched, gets punched again by a different person while on the phone. (Ok, that's just wrong!!)
Protece your assets,
Rodger ;-)

What's the virtual sentence?

Helsinki, Finland (AFP)
Finnish police investigate the theft of virtual funiture from a social network site. (Are there virtual finger prints?)
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-)