He lives in the closet.

Mankato, Minn. (AP)
  Police stopped two pajama clad sisters (6 and 7) who were walking a goat late at night. The sisters told the police officer that their mom had secretly bought the goat for them and the goat lived in their closet. The sisters explained that the closet was necessary to keep their father from finding out.
  Further investigation uncovered that the sisters had visited the zoo that day and had hatched a plot to break out the goat.  The police were unable to find out exactly how the two had gotten the goat out of the zoo!!!
Well there you go.......
Protect your ass-ets,
Rodger :-P

Hey buddy, your shorts are moving.

Phoenix, Arizonia (AP)
   Eric Fiegel stole several baby boa constrictors from a local pet store. Eric stole the snakes by stuffing them down the front of his shorts. Several things could have grown with this plan given the location and the nature of the contraband. Police say Eric appears to be none the worst for wear.
Protect all your ass-ets,
Rodger  ;-)

When anaimals fight back.

Toledo, Ohio (AP)
   Police officers were concerned when American flags were being stolen from a Police Memorial honoring fallen officers.  A team of officers staked out the memorial to catch the vandal or vandals.
   The stake out team observed a squirrel taking a flag.  Later investigation discovered that there were squirrels living in the near by trees.  One team found that one of the missing flags had been used to build a squirrel's nest.
   At this time police officers are not sure how many members are in fact in the terrorist squirrel network.
Protect your ass-ets,
Rodger ;-P

Wonder if we should call a "haz mat" team??/

Nashville, Tenn (AP)
   Three cansiters fell off of a Greyhound Bus. The canisters were emitting vapor and a foul smell. Fire fighters and police were called. After some period of time the spilled bull semen was cleaned up.  What can I say?
Protect your ass-ets,
Rodger ;-P

Yeah but they ain't all a as cute as they look.

Flagstaff, Arizonia (AP)
   An Arizonia Department of Transportation sign was warning "rogue panda on rampage."  I always thought they weren't that darned cute!!!!  They got fangs you know.
Protect your ass-ets,
Rodger  B-P

Can't you wait to go????

Helsinki, Finland (Reuters)
   A ferry capitan need to go to the restroom, so he went. The door to the toilet jammed and the capitan could not get out. The ferry ran a ground on some rocks. The police are investigating. I'm not really sure what the police are investigating; the door, the capitan or the rocks.
Protect your ass-ets,
Rodger  ;-P

Ok, how big a rodent can Orkin handle???

Paso Robles, California (AP)
  Workers at a water treatment plant spotted a 100# rodent swimming in one of the treatment ponds. No I'm not kidding. This sucker is native to South America and is called a capybara. How in the heck did a native rat of the Amazon region turn up in Paso Robles???  Must have had built up frequent flyer miles.
Protect your ass-ets,
Rodger   ;-)

Ok, how big of a plunger do you have???

Lewiston, Idaho (AP)
  A truck caring toilet paper was driving down the road next to the Lochsa River. The trunk over turned a dumped the whole load into the river. Yup, all of the toilet paper clogged the river.
  The first attempts to clean the clog had to stop when the paper began desintegrating clogging the river even more. Finally, divers wrapped the whole mess in chicken wire and then pulled the load out.
  I, however, am not going to use this method to unclog my toilet.
Protect your ass-ets,
Rodger ;-P

Where do you plug one in??

Louisville, Ky (AP)
   Mounted patrols will now be given computers to carry on their horses. No, I have no idea how or where they are going to be "mounted." Several other interesting questions are also coming to mind.
Protect your cay-use,
Rodger  B-P

Aaaaannnnndddddd, we're back.

Kennewick, Washington (AP)
   Cheri Schumman was list as murdered in an up date to her class reunion. Cheri contacted organizers to inform them that she had not been murdered and in fact was still very much alive. Well there you go.
Protect your ass-ets,
Rodger B-P

Nope, bought it as a kit.

Stockholm, Sweden (Reuters)
   Richard Handl was using plans from the internet as he tried to build a nuclear reactor in his kitchen. Richard told police that the reactor was just a hobby. The police took old Richard's supply of radium and told him building a reactor in his kitchen was illegal. Wonder close he got to actually making it?
  On a personal note, I'm going to be out of pocket. I should be back in about a week.
Protect your assets,
Rodger  B-)

I didn't know burros could swim that far.

Honolulu (AP)
 In an effort to control the wild donkey population on the big island, the state is going to ship 100 of the 400-600 wild donkey population to California. How in the hell did Hawaii get wild donkeys????
Protect your ass-es,
Rodger ;-P

Too darned expensive to do over!!!

Chicago, Ill. (AP)
   Elana Dawson went into labor while taking the last part of her bar exam. The exam had to be finished to count. She finished the exam, walked across the street, and gave birth to son Wilson by C-section. Bet she passed that exam too. College is just too expensive to do over.
Protect your ex-ams,
Rodger  ;-)

What's up doc?

Salmon, Idaho (Reuters)
   Police have told William Falkingham that he has got to stop wearing his bunny suit around town. Police told William that when he was dressed like a giant rabbit he was scaring kids. Apparently, bunnies don't live long enough in Idaho to get big.
Protect your hares,
Rodger  ;-D

Yo cousin, no really.

Loyal readers, I'm sorry for the gaps in the posts. The next couple of weeks will be erratic on posting, but, after that, we should be back on regular schedule.
London (Reuters)
   70% of British men and 50% of all Western European men are related to King Tut. I didn't even know that King Tut ever left Egypt!!!!  One thing is for sure, when the dude got to Britain he was buuuussssyyyyyyyy!!!!
Watch out for Egyptians,
Rodger ;-)