One would have thought $2 million.

New York (Reuters)
   Holly Madison insures her breasts for $1 million dollars. Holly had traded up from an A to a D cup. As of now there is no information on milage limitations or road side service.
Protect your Sil-a-cones,
Rodger.

Frankly, "open and gross" conduct is common among males.

Attleboro, Mass. (AP)
  Mr. Robert Bailey has be given a one year probation for washing his truck in the nude.  The 65 year old Mr. Bailey had apparently decided to not get his clothes wet at the local public car wash and shed them.  A woman vacuming her car called police. Mr. Bailey was found guilty of "open and gross" conduct. An interesting crime to be charged with. Most teenage boys probably violate this law too. Poor Mr. Bailey also has to register as a sex offender. Seems a bit much.  I suspect the judge was a woman.
Protect your washing,
Rodger ;-)

What can I say, it's Utah.

Salt Lake City, Utah (AP)
   Thousands run through the streets of Salt Lake City clad only in their underwear to protest Utah's "uptight" laws.
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-P

Some things just ain't funny in Denver buddy!!!!

Denver, Col. (AP)
    A man convicted of putting raw chicken in his ex-wife's heating ducts gets 18 years in prison.  I guess some jokes just ain't funny in Denver,
Protect your pull-ets,
Rodger  ;-P

That ought to show 'em!!!!!

Tyler, Texas (AP)
   The Texas Department of Corrections will no longer serve special meals to condemned killers. That ought to teach 'em a lesson boy. No more coddling around here buddy.
Protect your din-din,
Rodger  B-P

How sour was that cream????

Kiev, Ukraine (Reuters)
   A 77 year old man won a dumpling eating contest. The prize was a jar of sour cream. The man accepted the prize and then dropped dead!!!!
Always finish second,
Rodger ;-P

Alcohol may have been involved.

Lincoln, Nebraska (AP)
   A fellow was busted by the police after mistaking a police station for a casino, TWICE!!!!!  The dude kept trying to get chips for black jack.
Protect your chips,
Rodger ;-P

Was his name Bernie????

Denver, Col.(AP)
   Two fellows went out and had a night on the town with their buddy's credit cards. The pair took their buddy along though. Of course, with the buddy being dead, the buddy had to stay in the car as his friends went from place to place.
Protect your ass-ets,
Rodger ;)

Wonder what they were for????

Atlantic City, New Jersey (AP)
  Police raided a suspected drug dealer's home.  The officers found one pound of weed, $2600 in cash and two alligators. We are all kinda wondering what the two alligators were for. How often will an alligator eat???? I mean, maybe sometimes one of them is full.
Protect your rep-tiles,
Rodger ;-P

Don't answer the phone!!!!

Lagos, Nigeria (AP)
   A text message has been sent all over Nigeria warning cell phone owners not to answer a phone call from 09141. If a person answers a call from that number that person will die. Yup, we are talking the death call.
Protect your ass-ets,
Rodger ;-P

Yup, another worm hole.

Council Bluffs, Iowa (Reuters)
   Police are mystified by a statue of a Hot Dog Man that appeared without explaination beside a school bus stop. The states was missing. The statue of a hot dog has spindly legs and is missing the hands. The statue was also draped in a U.S. flag.  Yup sounds like a object came from a parallel universe through a worm hole. Happens all the time.
Protect your buns,
Rodger ;-P

Yup, I've used that excuse too.

St. Petersburg, Fla. (Reuters)
A 26 year old woman claiming to be a vampire attacked a 60+ year old man in a wheel chair. The woman bit his arm and lip. The old fellow managed to fight off the "vampire" and get help. Police found the woman a short distance away half clothed and covered in blood. The lady claimed she couldn't remember a thing. Yup, that ought to work. Just ignore the blood officers.
Protect your neck,
Rodger ;-P

Somebody answer the door for crying out loud.

Kansas City, Missouri (Reuters)
  A man waving a gun jumped on the hood Rayna Garrett's car. The fellow demanded that she drive. Ms. Garrett did, all the way to the police station. When officers failed to come out after Ms. Garrett honked, the lady rammed her car into the police station's garage door. That worked and the officers came out. The fellow with the gun had fled but was captured later at a bus stop. (What's that honking??  Probably somebody's car alarm going off. No big deal.)
Protect your hoods,
Rodger  ;-)

Soooo many questions, soooo little time.

Stockholm, Sweden (AP)
   Fireman were called in to help free a moose who had become stuck in an apple tree. (????) The fireman suspect the moose may have been drunk. (?????)
Protect your ass-ets,
Rodger ;-p

Probably use to it.

Bucharest, Romania (AP)
  Students at Ciskey Gergely High School in Arad Transylvania arrived at school only to find their classroom full of bats. The students went to another classroom to take their exam.  Apparently, this is pretty common in Transylvania.
Protect your ass-ets,
Rodger  ;-P

Man fights back.

Sacremento, Ca. (AP)
A man was relased on $10,000 bail after being booked for assaulting a boa constrictor. The man apparently had bitten the snake twice. At last report the snake was at the doctors and while injured was expected to recover.
Protect your rep-tiles,
Rodger ;-)

A life on the run is no life.

Berlin, Germany (Reuters)
   A cow named Yvonne who had been on the run from police for three months finally turned herself in. Yvonne had escaped from a milk farm and a near collusion with a police cruiser. After the attempted assault on the police cruiser, a warrent had been issued for Yvonne's capture.
   Tiring of the lonly life on the run, Yvonne turned herself into another milk cow herd.
Protect your milk cows,
Rodger ;-P

They Walk Among Us.

Miami, Fla. (Reuters)
  A man tried to board a Miami to Brazil flight with 7 snakes and 3 tortoises stuffed inside his pants. Tweet, report to sterilization, outta the gene pool.
Protect your ass-ets,
Rodger ;-)