THEY WALK AMONG US AND SOME REPRODUCE

Eugene, Oregon (UPI)
  Aleksander Robin Tomas­zewski, 33, claims to have been beaten by detectives. The jail's security video show old Aleks punching himself at least 45 times. Mr. Tomas­zewski, ended up with two black eyes, three years probation and fined $600 for being a dumb ass.
Protect your face,
Rodger  :-p

FINALLY, A SENSIBLE PIPELINE.

Burges, Belgium (NBC/APTN)
  A brewery in Burges plans to install a 2 mile pipeline under city streets to a bottling plant. The pipeline will carry 1,600 gallons of beer per hour. As of this time there is no map of where the pipeline's manholes will be located.
Protect your brew,
Rodger :-P

EXPLAINS THE SUITCASE FULL OF CONDOMS AT THE BUS STATION.

Caracas, Venezuela (Reuters)
   Venezuela is running out of condoms. A three pack of Trojans is going for $62 worth of the local currency. While condom use is down, sex frequency seems to remain the same.  (And now "how to smuggle condoms.")
Protect your...... personality,
Rodger :-P

NOT EVERYTHING BLOWS UP THE SAME.

New York (UPI)
   Port Authority patrolling officers spotted a suspicious silver bag behind the barrier of the waiting room at the George Washington Bridge bus station. The bomb squad was called in with explosive sniffing dogs to check out the bag. The bag was deemed not dangerous. Inside was over 1000 condoms of assorted sizes, shapes (?) and colors. Police are holding the bag for the owner. (Apparently, a door to door condom salesman forgot his sample case.)
Protect your Pro-phylactics,
Rodger :-P