PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE WORN SHADES

St. Charles, Mo (AP)
  Three elephants escaped from Moolah Shrine Circus. After their daring dash, the elephants attempted to hide in a parking lot. Apparently, blending in with cars was not a good idea and all three were recaptured.  (Next time hide in a truck stop.)
Protect your performers,
Rodger :-P

BETTER WATCH THE FINGER POINTING!!!

Cherry Hill, New Jersey (AP)
  Tonya Joseph was arguing with two women over a parking space at Cherry Hill Mall. One lady almost bit Tonya's finger off!!  ER workers couldn't believe a human had done it. (Yup, werewolf.)
Protect your digits,
Rodger :-P

YUP, I ORDERED THE COLORADO PACKAGE.

Amherst, Ohio (Reuters)
  A lady bought a new car in August.  The lady went to the dealer to have a flat tire changed. As she drove off, the mechanics heard a thumping sound and checked out the spare tire. They found $12,000 worth of pot hidden in the spare.  (Honest boss, I swear it was in this car, honest.)
Protect your herb,
Rodger  :-P