THROW THE DOG A BONE.

Vaughn, New Mexico (AP)
   Police chief resigns.  Drug dog only licensed law enforcement officer left.
Protect your stuff,
Rodger  ;-)

HEAD HIM OFF AT THE PASS ROY.

Bunnel, Fla. (AP)
   Charles Cowart, 29, was arrested for operating an animal while under the influence (RWI).  Police pursued an intoxicated man on a horse for 30 min. before capturing Mr. Cowart. Apparently, Mr. Cowart had a fast horse.
Protect your rid-er,
Rodger ;-)

ALL TOGETHER NOW.

Bulawayo, Zimbabwe (AP)
   City leaders are urging all residents to flush their toilets at 7:30 pm on Mondays and Thursdays to help clear sewer lines.  Probably shouldn't try to get a glass of water at that time.  Just sayin',
Protect your toil-ets,
Rodger ;-)

THEY WALK AMONG US!!!!

Woodlands, Washington (The Columbian)
   A teen age couple steals $100k coin collection and blows it at face value on a pizza and a movie!!!  Dakoda Garren, 19 is being charged with grand theft and being an idiot.  Tweet, outta the gene pool and report to sterilization.
Protect your ass-ets,
Rodger  ;-)

THEY WALK AMONG US AND SOME ARE IN CHARGE!!

Albuquerque, New Mexico (AP)
   The second in command of New Mexico's domestic security agency, Anita Tallarico, tried to walk through an airport security check point with a loaded gun.  Anita said that she forgot, forgot, she freaking forgot she had a LOADED GUN in her purse!!!  She forgot she had a loaded gun.  Well then it's ok Mrs. Tallarico because you forgot you had a LOADED GUN!!!!  Tweet outta the gene pool, report to sterilization!!! Oh yes, and you are fired!!!
Protect your secur-ity,
Rodger ;-)

DOES SPRAY PAINT HAVE A SPELL CHECK?

York, Pa. (AP)
   Police are looking for a vandal that spray painted a lady's car with the word "bicth." 
Protect your spell-ing,
Rodger ;-p

NOT TODAY THANK YOU.

Seattle, Washington (AP)
   Today is "Stay Away From Seattle Day."  The residents of the Emerald City have decided that at least one day a year they don't want to put up with tourists.  Today, Sept. 16, is the day.
Protect your privates... and other places,
Rodger ;-)

WHAT ARE THE ODDS????

Miami Beach, Fla. (AP)
   Man breaks into car.  Man steals credit cards. Man buys drinks at bar and tries to pay with credit card. Stolen card belongs to bar tender. Talk about a bad day.
Protect your credit,
Rodger ;-P

NOW YOU SEE IT. NOW YOU DON'T.

Boston, Mass. (AP)
   Magic store owner, Harry Lee, has been sentenced to two years in prison.  Seems old Harry made $560,000 disappear from a customer's credit account.
Protect your tricks,
Rodger ;-)

AND A DIET COKE WITH THAT PLEASE!!!

Carlton, Minn. (AP)
   Big Bear Casino has cooked up a bacon cheeseburger that is 10 ft. across and weighs 1 ton.  Now that's what I'm talking about!!!!
Protect your gour-met,
Rodger ;-)

I'M TELLING YOU, ALWAYS GET A CONTRACT!!!

Ann Arbor, Michigan (AP)
   Man called the police to complain that a prostitute he had hired upped the price at the last minute.  The police came and arrested the man and the woman. I'm not sure how the price thing turned out. (Tweeeet, outta the gene pool, report to sterilization.)
Protect your.....(never mind the dude is a dumb ass.)
Rodger ;-)

THE JUDGE SAID TO GET HEADPHONES.

Epping, New Hampshire (AP)
   Joyce Coffee was arrested 4 times in 26 hours for playing "Highway to Hell" too loud from her home. What can I say?  Looks like Joyce would catch on huh?
Protect your hearing,
Rodger ;-P