They walk among us.

Chamblee, Ga. (AP)
    Trevor Gladson Jr. tried to rob a bank. The bank robbery failed when the clerk jumped behind a bullet proof glass and hit the robbery button.  Mr. Gladson escaped.  Later, Mr. Gladson returned to the same bank to withdraw money to pay cab fare for his getaway. Just didn't work out well for old Trevor.
Protect your ass-ets,
Rodger  ;-P

Wonder why they thought they wouldn't get caught?

Deer Park, Texas (AP)
   Officers at the Deer Park police station were wondering why their lunches kept disappearing out of the break room fridge. After the food thefts had reached an intolerable level, the police chief set up a sting to find out who the culprit was. Yup, police officer Kevin Yang was caught taking the food.
   Yang explained that he just routinely "cleaned out" the fridge.  Apparently, Yang forgot his victims were cops!!!!
Protect  your lasa-gna,
Rodger  ;-P

Wait, I thought you had it!!!!

Madrid, Spain (AP)
   "They walk among us" even in Spain. Four thieves hit a vault at a courier service and make off with many bags of valuables. In the thieves' haste, the getaway car was crashed leading to a flat. The four theives successfully hijacked and second car and made their escape.  However, the four fellows left the bags of loot in the first car.  Guess they forgot to assign someone to the task and no one did the job of grabbing the loot.  LMBO, dumb asses!!! 
Protect your gains,
Rodger ;-P

I'm thinking space aliens.

Hello loyal readers. I've been a bit under the weather so I've dropped the ball on updating my posts. But I'm better now and here we go.

Ann Arbor, Mich (AP)
   A hot tub mysteriously appeared on the roof of a University of Michigan building. Folks noticed people visiting the hot tub on Saturday. However, by the following Monday night, the hot tub disappeared. I'm thinking space aliens or the hot tub had slipped over from another dimension. Hope no one was in the tub went it slipped back.
Protect your bath-room,
Rodger ;-)

Just when you thought it was safe, man!!!

Austin, Texas (wfaa)
   Texas scientists are warning that the unseasonably warm weather could lead to a influx of vampires.................................................bats.
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-)

Does that work???

Leechburg, Pa. (AP)
   Timothy Beer, who has split personalities, claims his other personality robbed a China King Restaurant. Wow a new twist on the evil twin defense.
Protect your Won-ton,
Rodger  ;-P

Now that's just wrong!!!

Amsterdam, (NBC)
   Scientists are growing hamburgers in a petri dish!!! I just don't even know what to say about this. Reminds me of soylent green.
Protect your burger ;-P
Rodger

One tough emu.

South Hero, Vermont (AP)
   An emu that was bought as a pet escaped 5 weeks ago and has been on the run ever since. Given the weathe in Vermont this time of the year I figure it's one tough bird. The owner is advertising "free emu, if you catch it."
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-P

Wow, the gift that keeps on giving.

Huntington Beach, Calif. (AP)
   A helium filled Valentine ballon nailed a power station shutting off power to 21,285 customers. Later in the evening another Valentine ballon hit another power station knocking out power to an additional 15,099. Ok, next year, flowers and candy, that's it!!!
Protect your pow-er,
Rodger ;-P

Not the brightest bulb.

Evanston, Wyoming (AP)
   59 year old Richard Vincent, a felony fugitive, ran out of gas. Mr. Vincent called the local Sheriff Department to help him out. Yup, they did. No gas, but they gave old Richard a ride.
Protect your auto-mobile,
Rodger ;-P

So much for the vow of poverty.

Detroit, Michigan (AP)
   The creator of "5 Hour Energy Drink" is 58 year old Manoj Bhargova, a Buddhist monk. Yeah, I know. Ooriginally the stuff was supposed to be a "focus" drink.  I'm not even sure how that works.
Protect your ener-gy,
Rodger ;-P

And now, something different.

New York City (AP)
   New York City's sewage plant is offering free tours for lovers on Valentine's Day. Plant officials point out that the tour would be a one of a kind special date. Each person will be given a chocolate kiss after the tour is over.
   Let's see, sewage and brown chocolate. Yeah, the wife would really love that.
Protect your flow-ers,
Rodger ;-P

Bacon!!!

San Francisco, (Eater.com)
   Jack in the Box is coming out with a bacon shake!!!!!
Enough said,
Protect your ass-ets,
Rodger ;-P

Looks like a place for a New York dog.

Frankfurt, Germany (Reuters)
   A truck carrying a load of sauerkraut was involved in a crash on the autobahn. Tons of sauerkraut was scattered across the road way in sub-zero temperatures. The delicacy quickly froze creating a massive road block. Four hours later workers had chipped the frozen pile away.....  I'm sorry, in my head I see a New York hot dog vendor setting up to feed the workers.
Protect your add-ons,
Rodger ;-P

Zombie escape goes wrong.

Johannesburg, South Africa (Reuters),
   A man who claimed to be singer Khumalo, who died in 2009, was arrested for fraud. The fellow claimed that he was in fact Khumalo and had not died. Instead the fellow claimed to have been held prisoner in a cave full zombies by a witchdoctor and had only recently escaped.
Well there you go,
Protect your ass-ets,
Rodger ;-P

Now he knows.

Butte, Montana (AP)
   A fellow was wondering what it would be like to be chased by the police. So Mr. John Hughes followed a police car for a few blocks and then blew past the patrol car at 70mph on city streets and reaching speeds of 100mph. Mr. Hughes found out that a police chase costs $1000 and new set of tires (spike strips). Next time dude just ask somebody.
Protect your ass-ets,
Rodger ;-P

That's gotta suck!!!!

Madrid (AP)
   A poor village of 2000 all went together and bought a ticket in the Spanish lottery. They hit and won $940 million. The payout was at least $130,000 per villager. Except for one, yup one, guy who didn't buy a ticket!!! Y'all can write your on comments.
Protect your lot-tery,
Rodger ;-P

Man,those folks are serious about donuts!!!

Powell, Wyoming (AP)
    19 year old Zach O'dell was fined $200 for stealing a donut. Yup $200 plus $10 court costs and .79 for the donut itself. Zach is a college student studying criminal justice. Man that must have been one great donut.
Protect your just-ice,
Rodger ;-P