THIS TOO SHALL PASS.

Brighton, England (UPI)
   Suspected jewel thief swallows diamond ring. Police are holding Rayhanur Choudhury, 22, until the $14,000 emerald cut, white gold diamond ring shows up. Jeweler Sabina Palmero says the ring is quite chunky and could cause a problem. Sussex police indicate they are in no hurry as these things usually work themselves out in the end. (What can I say.)
Protect your colon,
Rodger :-P

WHAT THE HELL????

Farmington Hills, Michigan (UPI)
  Robert Cortis called police to report that his 5,000 lb wood and steel bridge was missing.  Yup, somebody stole a 5,000 lb. that's 2 1/2 ton, bridge. And nobody, nobody, n o b o d y noticed the freaking bridge being stolen!!!! Police located the bridge 30 miles away in Belleville. Police have no suspects at this time. (Hey buddy, want to buy a bridge?)
Protect your pathway,
Rodger :-P

THEY WALK AMONG US.

San Francisco, California (UPI)
  A fellow drove his Ford Mustang onto the pedestrian walkway on the Golden Gate Bridge.  Daniel Soto made it for about 400 ft. before the Mustang became wedged between a fence and the guardrail. Bridge personnel called a forklift to pick up the car. Police believe alcohol may have been involved. (Wonder how old Daniel got out of the car?)
Protect your sidewalks,
Rodger  :-P