ANYBODY GOT A DICTIONARY?

Kansas City, Missouri (AP)
  The final two contestants in Missouri County's spelling bee went for 47 rounds without breaking a tie. Unfortunately, the spelling bee organizers ran out of words, a spelling bee ran out of words!!  The spelling bee folks hadn't prepared enough words for the freaking spelling bee!!!!  It's a spelling bee, get lots of........ words!!!
Protect your preparation,
Rodger :-P

ALIEN REINDEER!!!

Helsinki, Finland (AP)
  In an attempt to cut down on the deaths of thousands of wild reindeer, reindeer are having their antlers painted in fluorescent, glow in the dark paint. Yup, motorists could well see a pair of ethereal antlers floating across the road.  (In a related story, members of the Finnish Cannabis Club have reported sightings of aliens along deserted highways.)
Protect your wild-life,
Rodger :-P

ANIMALS FIGHTING BACK

Palmdale, Ca. (AP)
   In a daring attempt at freedom, a camel escaped from his enclosure. During the daring dash for freedom the camel chased cars and attacked folks in the small town who were trying to effect the animal's capture.  Sadly, the number of humans involved in the chase finally overwhelmed the poor creature who was returned to his pen.
Protect your dromedary,
Rodger :-P

NOW THAT SHOULD KEEP MORALE UP!!

Natick, Mass. (AP)
 A US military lab is closing in on developing pizza with a three year shelf life.  Soldiers have long complained about MRE's and now they have another option when on the battle field. Yup, pepperoni in the fox hole.  (I've seen pizza in the fridge that was at least a year old.)
Protect your cuisine,
Rodger :-P

SEE I TOLD YOU.

Mount Pleasant, Mich. (AP)
   Central Michigan State to offer course on zombies and the apocalypse. (Now there's a course you can sink your teeth into.)
Protect your higher learning,
Rodger  :-P

GET A ROOM!!!

China, Maine (AP)
  Four State Police responded to neighbors' calls to 911 about sounds of a fight and screaming coming from a house.  The Troopers investigated the residence and discovered the screams were coming from a happy male pig that had been placed in a pen with 5 sows in heat.  (What can I say?)
Protect your privacy,
Rodger :-P

WAIT, WHAT???

Dallas, Texas (Reuters)
  The American Board of Obstetrics and Gynecology now allows Gynecologists to treat more men after loosening restrictions. (More, wait, more men?)
Protect your pelvis,
Rodger