Wait, what?????

Westwood Cross, England (BBC)
    Ronald McDonald was arrest for violating a restraining order by entering McDonalds.  I know, I thought he had a contract too.
Protect your ham-burgers,
Rodger

Bring your WHAT???!!!!

Greenville, S. Carolina (AP)
   Sheriffs in 5 S. Carolina counties are offering amnesty for any residents who will turn in their bombs and explosives.  Holy crap!!!  Just how big is the bomb problem in South Carolina???  Five freakin' counties?
Protect your bunk-er,
Rodger ;-)

Sounds Reasonable.

Houston, Texas (WFAA)
   Woman fatally shoots husband with "empty" gun.  The wife says she was told the shotgun was empty.  Soooo she pointed it at her husband's head and pulled the trigger.  Obviously, the husband is unavailable for comment.
Protect your fire-arms,
Rodger ;-)

Damn, are the animals armed?

Rome (Reuters)
   Since the Italian hunting season has begun in September, 13 people have been killed and 33 wounded.  Apparently, the wild boar have obtained weapons.
Protect your ass-ets,
Rodger ;-)

Now that's a lot of SHIT!!!!

Littleton, New Hampshire (Reuters)
   Vermont is processing 300,000 gallons of cow manure into electricity a day.  The electricity is used to power ski lifts at local resorts during the winter.  The process is suspended during the summer and warm days for obvious reasons.  Yup, I always thought ski resorts were a pile of manure. 
Protect your poooo,
Rodger ;-)

I'm sorry, who was blind?

London (Reuters)
   Police are apologizing for using a taser on a blind man.  The police thought the man's white cane was a samurai sword!!!  Dumb asses,
Protect your dis-ability,
Rodger ;-)

Alcohol may have been involved.

Munich, Germany (Reuters)
A man's car was returned to him two years after he forgot where he had parked the car. A police officer noticed the inspection sticker had expired. The car had waited for the two years in the same place.
Protect your auto-mobile,
Rodger

Ok, that's creepy.

Miami, Florida (AP)
   A softball sized eyeball has washed up on a Miami beach.  That's it.  That's all I got.
Protect your surf,
Rodger ;-)

Don't tell my wife!!!!

London (Reuters)
   Scientists have discovered a planet twice as big as earth made out of diamond!!!!  As a man I can only expect the worse out of the new space race.
Protect your solar system,
Isom ;-)

Sometimes a dog has had enough.

Ogden, Utah (AP)
   A man called police to report a burglary after he received a call on his cell phone from his home phone.  The fellow said he heard scratching and banging over the line.  The police found no evidence of a break-in.  Turned out the fellow's dog had hit the redial button while burying the phone in the yard.  I guess the dog got tired of hearing the phone ring and nobody answering.
Protect your phone-lines,
Rodger ;-) 

SOOOO WHAT ELSE IS LOOSE???

DFW (AP)
   Two American Airline flights had to make emergency landings after discovering that each plane had a row of seats that weren't bolted down.  Kinda makes one wonder about other things.
Protect your ass-ets,
Rodger  ;-)