SOOO MANY QUESTIONS.

Sao Paulo, Brazil (UPI)
   Brazilian police were searching a warehouse for stolen vehicles.
In addition to TV's, a semi-trailer and tractor rig, the police found two stolen Brazilian army tanks. The tanks had no identification numbers. (Honest Sargent, I thought they were in the shop.)
Protect your armor,
Rodger :-P

DUDE, YOUR ASS IS RINGING.

Beijing, China (UPI)
  Police captured a fellow trying to smuggle I Phone 6's and 6 pluses between Hong Kong and China. The aspiring entrepreneur had 98 I Phone's wrapped in plastic bags taped to his arms, legs and torso (no I don't know how he went to the restroom). Police at the checkpoint became suspicious because the dude was walking so stiffly. Also, the metal detector going screaming nuts was another clue. Yeah, didn't work out.
Protect your communicator,
Rodger :-P

WHERE ELSE WOULD YOU LIKE AN EMU TO RUN?

Herzliya, Israel (UPI),
   A scooter rider known as "Roi" spotted an emu running down the road in Herzliya. Roi estimates the emu was reaching speeds up to 25 mph. Police were called by other motorists who finally cornered the emu near a shopping center. What the hell is an emu doing in Israel anyway? How did the emu get through all the security around Israel? So many questions and so little time.
Protect your fowl,
Rodger  :-P