Another reason not to put your cell phone in your pocket.

Sydney, Australia (GMA)
   A passenger was on flight from Lismore to Sydney with an i-phone 4. Suddenly, without any warning, the phone began emitting a loud noise, began to glow cherry red, and gave off clouds of smoke!!! Luckily the phone was on the passenger's tray table and not in his pocket!!!
Protect your ass-ets,
Rodger  ;-P

Sounds like a cartoon.

New York (AP),
   Mr. Kirson is looking for his 25 year old parrot, Captain. Apparently, Captain, who loves to sing opera, has taken off on a solo career. I wonder if any one has check the Metropolitan Opera to see if old Captain has shown up there. Frankly, the whole thing reminds me of a Warner Brothers' cartoon about a frog. Oh well, I hope captain is doing well.
Protect your Hob-bies,
Rodger ;-P

Free Frosty!!!!

Chestertown, Maryland (AP)
   Police have arrested Frosty the Snowman. The police have charged that Frosty assaulted a police dog. Frosty has claimed self-defense!!!! Free Frosty!!!
Protect your myths,
Rodger  B-P

No you didn't.

Longview, Washington (AP),
   A thief on a bicycle snatched a woman's purse. The 59 year old lady chased the snatcher down, jerked him of the bike and got her purse back. The 29 year old probably should find another line of work.
Protect your ass-ets,
Rodger  ;-P

When you gotta you gotta go.

New York City (NBC)
   As an airliner was entering the landing pattern at La Gardia, the pilot had to go to the rest room. The pilot got stuck in the toilet and couldn't get out. A passenger heard the pilot's call for help and went to the cockpit and knocked on the door explaining the situation. Unfortunetly the passenger had a heavy foreign accent which the crew couldn't understand. The co-pilot called the tower saying the pilot had disappeared and a person with a foreign accent was banging on the door. Solution, intercom in the john.
Protect your Pot-ty,
Rodger ;-P

Well that adds to the adventure in mail delivery.

Brussels (Reuters),
   In Belgium, postmen ride electric bicycles to deliver the mail. One postmen noticed his bike was smoking. So the fellow found the reason, the battery, which he took out. And then the battery exploded!!! Wonder where the battery is on an electric bicycle? Yup kinda boggles the mind. Never the less, the postal service ordered all the batteries removed and returned.
Protect your ass-ets (no, really protect your.....),
Rodger B-P

I'm not sure this is all that fun anyway.

Zurich, Switzerland (Reuters)
   Swiss high court upholds law banning nude hiking in the Alps.  Wow, how many people hike nude in the Alps anyway. I'm not sure if one would need sun screen and lot's of dry skin lotion and baby oil. Several technical issues come to mind also. Like where and how does one sit to rest?
Protect your ass-ets,
Rodger ;-P

They walk among us.

Chicago, Ill. (Reuters)
   A 23 year old man tried to set up a pot buy via text messaging. Turns out this fellow was texting a state trooper. Yup, didn't work out as planned.
Double check your numb-er,
Rodger ;-P

I don't remember paying for that option.

San Jose, Ca. (AP)
   A buyer of a 2008 Town and Country mini van was wondering why the window on his ride wouldn't roll all the way down. So the fellow took it to his mechanic. His mechanic found $500k in cocaine stuffed in the door. Somebody, somewhere, ain't real happy!!!
Protect your ass-ets,
Rodger  ;-P

Wow, how the mighty have fallen!!!

Moscow (Reuters)
   The Russian Army has ordered 10,000 badminton rackets. The Army has also ordered hundreds of thousands of shuttle cocks too. I'm not sure why the Russian Army wants all the soldiers to be profecient at badminton. Must be some secret military plot that I'm missing. Maybe they are planning to invade a ladies summer camp or something.
Protect your lawn games,
Rodger  ;-P

Now that's thinking outside the box, or toilet.

Tokyo, (AP)
   Toilet manfacturer ToTo has developed a three wheel scooter called the Neo.  The Neo runs on "biogas" generated from sewage. I'm not real sure what the exhaust smells like. Ok the jokes are just flowing out of my head. Fart mobile comes to mind.
Protect your toil-et,
Rodger  ;-P

They walk among us.

Matlock, England (UPI)
   Police mailed out flyers to felons' homes. The flyers said the felons had won a free case of beer. The criminals were given a phone number to call to arrange pickup. The police arrested 19 folks who came to get their "free beer."
Protect your bre-ws,
Rodger ;-P

Man, I gotta get one of those!!!

Dallas, Texas (NBC)
   U.T.D. scientist develops invisibility cloak using nano tubes!!!!  Wow. The mind boggles!!!! No more hiding from the wife. Able to get the paper in your underwear. The uses are endless!!!
Protect your priv-acy,
Rodger  ;-)

Un-informed voters???

Montague, Mich. (AP)
    Deceased mayor wins re-election!???? Ok, a lot of weird stuff is going on in Michigan here lately. Alligators going to church. Dead mayors running cities. Reaaaaallllyyyyy Strange.
Protect your polls,
Rodger

So many questions. So little time.

Jackson, Mich. (AP)
   Police capture a 6 ft. alligator outside a local church. No, I have no idea how the alligator got to Michigan. He probably hitch-hiked.
Protect your rep-tile,
Rodger ;-P

Dude, find another hobby!!!!

Moscow, Russia (AP)
   A 46 year old historian had a strange hobby. This dude had dug up 29 bodies and dressed them in women's clothes recovered from graves. He then had them displayed around his apartment like dolls.
Protect your after-life,
Rodger ;-)

Well at least he was dressed for the occasion.

Danona,Pa. (AP)
   A man at a Halloween party dressed in an "inmates" costume was arrested for interfering with the arrest of his friend and weapons charges. Alcohol may have been involved.
Protect your cost-umes,
Rodger ;-)

They walk among us.

Lake City, Fla. (AP)
   Two Dominos Pizza mangers are in jail after burning down a Papa John's Pizza in an effort to gain more customers. Didn't work. Duh!!!!
Protect your pizz-a,
Rodger ;-P

I am speechless.

Phoenix, Arz. (Phoenix Herald)
Pregnant man says three children are enough and vows this is his last pregnancy. Dude it says what it says. I would have stopped after one.
Protect your parts,
Rodger B-D

Will wonders never cease.

Miami, Fla. (AP)
   A Florida Highway Patrolman stopped a car for going 120 mph. Turned out to be a Miami policeman late for his second job. Well there you go.
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-P