NOW THAT'S COLD!!!!

Rock Hill, S.C. (UPI)
   Ice cream truck driver assaulted with a frozen fudge bar by a man after failing to give the fellow's daughter correct change. (Is it just me or does this sort of thing seem to happen in South Carolina rather frequently?)
Protect your frozen treats,
Rodger :-P

THEY WALK AMONG US AND SOME ARE ARMED.

Mount Pleasant, S. C. (UPI)
   A woman at a Burger King became upset complaining that her cinnabon was stale.  The lady threatened to pull her gun and "shoot up the place" if she didn't get a fresh cinnabon. (Well damn!!!  Gun fire over a pastry.)
Protect your fast food,
Rodger  :-P

SEE, THEY ARE TRYING TO HIDE THIS FROM US.

Washington, D.C. (The Washington Times)
  The Pentagon has developed a plan titled "CONOP 8888." CONOP 888 is a contingency plan for the Zombie Apocalypse.  The Pentagon claims the plan is for training purposes only.  (And what could they be training for?  Yup, Zombie Apocalypse!!!)
Protect your brains,
Rodger :-P

NOW THAT'S A BREAKFAST BAR.

Templeton, Iowa (UPI)
The Templeton Rye Distillery has started the Templeton Rye Pork Project.  The goal of the project is raise pigs whose meat will taste like whisky.  That's right folks, whisky flavored bacon.  (Templeton Rye Distillery putting the adventure back in breakfast.)
Protect your break-fast,
Rodger :-P

FORK IT OVER!!!

Narcross, Georgia (UPI)
   50 year old Jeffery Wooten robbed a waffle house with a pitchfork. Jeff herded the employees and customers into a backroom with his farm implement. Jeff couldn't get the cash register open so he took the whole thing.  (And that's the way it is in Narcross, Georgia.)
Protect your breakfast,
Rodger  :-p

I KNEW THEY WERE REAL.

Tallahassee, Florida (UPI)
   Sen. Dwhite Bullard has introduced an amendment titled "An Act Related to the Zombie Apocalypse."  The act would allow people without a CHL to carry concealed weapons during the Zombie Apocalypse.  (I'm not sure why one would want to conceal a weapon from a zombie. I don't think zombies give a s**t if you are armed or not.)
Protect your brains,
Rodger  :-P