Hey buddy, you got the time?

Waukesha, Wisconsin (AP)
Bank robber (wearing ski masked) arrived at bank 6 minutes too late. The bank had closed. (Probably got caught in traffic. Just sayin'.)
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-)

...created equal.

To our U.S. readers, we hope God blessed you with a happy and safe Thanksgiving. To our non-U.S. readers we hope God blessed you with a happy and safe day.
Denver, Col. (AP)
Colorado Governor Bill Ritter woke up Thanksgiving morning to find the Governor's mansion had be toilet papered. (And where was Homeland Security? Was it an "inside" job? Just wonderin'.)
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-p

Do I hear a gas leak?

Lakebay, Washington (AP)
Betty Corey heard hissing in her kitchen. Turned out to be a 4 foot ball python. (What the heck's a python doing in Washington state anyway? Migrated from Florida I guess.)
Protect your asset,
Rodger ;-)

Never thought about it.

To the person who left the comment on the riding lawn mower. That is tooooooo funny. But, I agree on not riding "nekked."
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-p

Glad that's settled.

Atlanta, Ga. (AP)
The Georgia Supreme Court has ruled that a riding lawn mower is "not" a motor vehicle. (Whew, thank goodness that's settled. Went all the way to the state supreme court. Things must have been awfully slow in Georgia.)
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-)

Gottcha!!!!!!

Los Angles, Ca. (AP)
An interior designer who had collect over $150,000 in disability payments while earning a $400,000 salary, was spotted on a Home and Garden T.V. show by an employee of the insurance company. (Ooooooops, Gottcha big boy. Dude had to pay restitution, a fine, and community service. They probably have him remodeling homeless shelters. Works for me, you?)
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-)

Gas station assault turns clean?

Conway, Ark. (AP)
Man accused of squeegee attack at gas station. (No, I don't make these up.)
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-)

Duck!!!!!!

Brush, Col. (AP)
A basketball size hunk of ice fell through a family's roof. No one was injured (OK, blue ice I'm thinking from an airplane. Dumped holding tanks a little early)
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-)

They walk among us.

Seattle, Washington (AP)
A man who thought he was a ninja tried to leap over a 4 ft. metal fence. The would be ninja impaled himself on the fence. Police heard him screaming and called an ambulance. The man is in serious but stable condition. (Note to self, I am not a ninja!!!)
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-)

Animals fight back!!!!

Trenton, New Jersey (AP)
Turkey causes havoc on New Jersey Turnpike. Blocks toll booth lanes and stops traffic. The bird apparently knows when to run and has, so far, escaped capture. (Go get 'em Tom. Just watch for the ones with guns.)
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-)

They walk among us.

Elizabethon, Tenn (AP)
Woman mistakes cop for Sonic car hop. (Yup, reeeeally under the influence. Tweet, outta the gene pool.)
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-)

Animals Fight Back

La Marque, Tx. (AP)
A driver distracted by a dive bombing pelican drives million dollar Bugatti into a marsh. (OK, this is just too funny. Go get em pelicans!!!)
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-)

Electronic solution.

Rome, (Reuters)
Catholic church unveils electronic holy water dispenser to fight swine flu. (Amazing!!)
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-)

The sky is falling, the sky is falling.

Dallas, Texas (CBS11)
Jet loses parts in test flight over Dallas. (Did the jet pass? I don't think they fixed the jet. Just wondering.)
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-)

Want to buy some hot gum?

New Britain, Conn. (AP)
Police report an increase in gum thefts. Authorities believe gum is being sold on the black market. (Hey buddy, want to buy some primo gum. We can hook you up.)
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-)

I think I can, I think I can.

Seoul, South Korea (AP)
Woman passes driver's test on 950th try. (Well, there you go.)
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-)

Say What??????

Rumford, Maine (AP)
Proposed wind farm site too windy for wind farm. (OK, I'm lost. Help me out here, somebody.)
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-)

They walk among us.

Vellejo, Ca. (AP)
Man steals car to make court appearance for auto theft. (Tweeeeeeeet, outta the gene pool. Report to sterilisation.)
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-)

Oops!!! Untimely report.

Rio de Janiero, (AP)
Man killed in car crash appears suddenly at own funeral alive. (OK, so who is in the coffin? And, who supposedly identified the body? Do we have to give the life insurance money back? Hmmmm???)
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-)

Places not to visit.

Seoul, South Korea (AFP)
Court rules that taxi drivers may still keep watching T.V. while driving. (Not going to the space hotel, not going to the rattle snake round-up, not going to South Korea...)
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-)

A Responsible Drinker

Neisville, Wisconsin (AP)
Woman calls 911 to report herself as a drunk. (Finally, someone is "drinking responsibly." Didn't know that was possible.)
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-)

Do they have valet parking?

Barcelona, Spain (Reuters)
Space hotel on schedule to open in 2012. (Has construction began? Does it have a casino? So many questions, so little time.)
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-)

They walk among us.

Jacksonville, Florida (AP)
Man steals live ferret by shoving the animal down the front of his pants. (I can't even imagine why the fellow thought this was a good idea. Tweet, outta the gene pool buddy.)
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-)