They Walk Among Us!!

Clawson, Mich. (AP)
Drunk man drives drunk woman to police station.  (Tweeeeeet, outta the gene pool!!!
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-)

Wasn't this job dangerous enough?

Denver (AP)
Firefighters is Denver are fighting flames and escaping bed bugs!!!!  (Holy crap, bedbugs has gotta be an real problem inside a fireman's clothes while fighting a fire.)
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-)

Somebody's got some splaining to do Lucy.

St. Louis, (AP)
Man wins $1 million on a scratch off ticket in June.  The same man wins another $2 million on a scratch off in Septemeber. (Holy crap!!!  What are the odds????)
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-)

Hippos of the world unite!!!!!

Waterbury, Conn. (AFP)
A man steals a U.S. flag from a flag pole and replaces the flag with a stuffed hippo toy.  (I'm sure there is a message here, but I'm not getting it.)
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-)

Ok, who has the car keys?

Port Arthur, Texas (AP)
Handcuffed woman steals patrol car and leads police on a chase reaching 100 mph. (Ok, stop car, turn off car, take keys.....)
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-)

She has carrot sticks too!!!!

Frenchtown, Montana (AP)
Woman stops bear attack on her back porch with a 12 inch zucchini!!!  (Just be glad she didn't use her casserole surprise.  Would have been animal cruelty boy.)
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-)

The Great Escape!!!

Mexico City, (Reuters)
Hurricane Karl's flooding allowed 280 crocodiles to escape an animal refuge near Mexico City.  (Sure seems to be a lot of missing small pets recently.)
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-)

Ok, I'm speechless.

Grant Pass, Oregon (AP)
Woman robs bank and then goes by school to pick-up her kids.  (I give up. Tweet outta the gene pool!!!!)
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-)

Leave the lid up!!!!

Warsaw, Poland (AFP)
73 year old woman finds 6 ft. anaconda in toilet.  (Note to self: fix bathroom light.)
Protect your assets,
Rodger '-)

Crustaceans have rights too.

Taipei, Taiwan (AFP)
Motorists urged by government to give crabs the right of way. (Nope, I don't make these up.)
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-)

Skulls? What skulls?

Athens, Greece (Reuters)
Greek officials find six human skulls in the luggage of two American tourists.  (Ok, they didn't have any fresh fruit though.)
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-)

When animals fight back!!!!

Oldsman, Fla. (AP)
Deputies handcuff a 7 ft. gator near school. (When was lunch?)
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-)

They Walk Among Us!!! What are the odds?

Selden, N.Y. (AP)
A 35 year old pretending to be a police officer pulls over a real detective!!!  (Tweet outta the gene pool!!!)
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-)

Stuffed toy menace stopped!!

Orlando, Fla. (AP)
Bomb squad blows up stuffed poney outside of school.  (If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times, we need to take the stuffed toy menace more seriously!!!)
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-)

Ummmmm, chocolate!!!

Yerevan, Armenia (AFP)
Armenia produces the world's largest chocolate bar at 18.4 ft by 9 ft.  (Now that's what I'm talking about!!!!)
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-)

"Do you think anyone noticed?"

Melbourne, Australia (AFP)
Two pet thieves wrestle a stolen python in the middle of a McDonald's parking lot while dozens watched. (Tweeeeettt, outta the gene pool, report to sterilization.)
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-)

HIs what died?

Tokyo, Japan (AFP)
A man, upset over the death of his cat, drove the wrong way for 55 miles on a Japanese highway breaking through 5 police road blocks.  (I guess we ought to be glad his wife hadn't died.)
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-)

Has he had his shots? I don't see any tags.

Amsterdam, Holland (AP)
Man bites police officer after an argument about a pet.  (Wow, wonder if he had rabies?)
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-)

Do alligators hibernate?

Burr Oak, Mich. (AP)
Man harvesting corn in field meets 3 foot alligator.  (Ok, what was that global warming thing?)
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-)

And how do you think it will take?

Beaverton, Oregon (AP)
A homeless man calls 911 from the hot tub of a home and orders towels, hot chocolate, and a hug. (Hey, might have worked, just sayin'.)
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-)

Sin is good for the government in Russia.

Moscow (AFP)
Russians are encouraged to drink and smoke more to increase tax revenues.  (In a related story, Russian Doctors and Emergency Rooms gear up for an expected increase in patients.)
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-)