Zero tolerance and zero intelligence.

Savannah, Georgia (AP)
Girl Scouts are now banned from selling Girl Scout cookies in front of the home of the founder of Girl Scouts.
Protect your cookies,
Rodger ;-)

So many questions, so little time.

New York (AFP)
Burglar breaks into apartment and steals toilet and that was all he stole.
Protect your toilets,
Rodger ;-)

Hey buddy, seen my car????

Las Vegas, (Reuters)
A handcuffed burglary suspect steals police patrol car.
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-)

Yup, they are that important!!!

Naples, Fla. (AP)
Roommates arrested after brawl over Girl Scout Thin Mints. (Well, you can only get 'em once a year.)
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-)

Things are tough all over.

Sydney (Reuters)
City plans to evict 22,000 bats from the city's downtown gardens. (Must be behind on rent.)
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-)

Holy crap, shouldn't somebody check.

Seoul, S. Korea (AFP)
Cooling system at nuclear power plant suddenly goes out. Technicians shut plant down in time. Mechanics find screwdriver jammed inside one of pumps shutting system down.  Apparently, the screwdriver had gotten dropped inside one of the lines during earlier repairs and worked it's way down to the pump!!!!
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-)

They walk among us!!!!

Arlington, Texas (Star-Telegram)
Burglar gets stuck in chimney. Starts yelling help. Police arrive in response to a disturbance call. Police "help" burglar out of chimney.
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-)

So do they deliver?

New York City (Reuters)
New York City offers an app for free condoms. (Wonder how long one has to wait? Or do you pick 'em up yourself?)
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-)

I'm not sure what this means.

San Francisco (AFP)
Research finds women think dogs are sexier than smart phones. (I'm not even sure what to do with this info.)
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-)

A number slightly lower than in the United States (maybe).

Moscow (Reuters)
30% of Russians think the sun revolves around the earth. (And there you have the whole problem.)
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-)

Yes, but we've all thought about it.

Rome (AFP)
Soccer player banned after trying to shove a ref's whistle down the ref's throat. (Yeah, but then he'd whilstle exhaling AND inhaling.)
Protect your assets,
Rodger  ;-)

Wow that many sins huh?

South Bend, Ind (AP)
New iPad, iPhone apps help Christians keep track of their sins. (Fortunatly, I have a wife that does that.)
Protect your assets,
Rodger  ;-)

And she's carrying a pork chop for back up boy!!

Houma, La. (AP)
Woman arrested for assault after attacking boy friend with a frozen steak. (I wonder if one can carry a frozen steak on a plane???)
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-)

Well that should clear the air!!!!

Blantyre, Malawi (AFP)
In an effort to protect the public's health, the legislature is considering a law to make public farting a crimial offense. (Wow, there goes the cilli and gumbo and cabbage and pinto beans and beer........)
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-p

Hands? They had hands?

Sydney, Australia (AFP)
Researchers have found that parrots tend to be left-handed.  (Man I didn't think Parrots had hands. Musta been hiding 'em under their wings.  Explains a lot though. How easy they get out of their cages and those mysterious pull-tabs in the bottom of the cages!!!)
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-)

Maybe the doves know something.

Vatican City (AFP)
During a ceremony the Pope released a group of doves out of the window as a sign of peace for the rest of the world. After the release, the doves flew right back in the window!!!! (So much for the rest of the world.)
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-)

Mixed signals.

Why does McDonalds' drive throughs have designated parking?
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-)