ANIMALS FIGHTING BACK

Chicago, Illinois (Reuters)
   The Indiana Department of Natural Resources is reporting that 25 year old Allie Carter was accidentally shot in the foot by her 11 year old chocolate Lab, Trigger. Trigger indicated that he thought the 12 gauge shotgun's safety was on when he stepped on the trigger. No charges have been filed but the investigation continues. (Sounds like a crime of opportunity to me.)
Protect your ass-ets,
Rodger  :-P

THEY WALK AMONG US

Tulsa, Oklahoma (Reuters)
   After a night of drinking to celebrate his birthday, a man discovered that he had been shot twice. Police have no suspects and the wounds were not life threatening. (Where the hell was I last night?)
Protect your assets,
Rodger :-)

NO GRASP OF THE OBVIOUS

Post Falls, Idaho (Reuters)
  The high school in Post Falls just discovered last month that cheerleader skirts are so short that the young ladies' buttocks are visible when climbing stairs, sitting down, or bending over. Apparently, the powers that be in the Post Falls Independent School District had never attended a sporting event and watched the cheerleaders perform in the last 50 years. Cheerleaders are now required to wear sweat pants under their cheerleading skirts. ( The grasp of the obvious is just as elusive as ever.)
Protect your ass-ets,
Rodger :-P

THEY WALK AMONG US.

Liberty, Missouri  (Kansas City Star),
   Man attempts to put out garbage fire by driving his ammunition filled van back and forth over the flames. Responding fire crews stayed a safe distance away. (Yeah, and I bet his insurance didn't cover "blowing up own van.")
Protect your ass-ets,
Rodger :-P

TOO WRAPPED UP IN HIS WORK.

Newport, Kentucky (Reuters),
   The owner of Captive Born Reptiles, Terry Wilkins, had to be rescued by police. A 20 ft. python had wrapped itself around Terry's head and neck rendering him unconscious. Police reported the snake was unharmed. Terry, not so much. (Mr. Wilkins probably should look at starting Kute Kuddly Kittens.)
Protect your ass-ets,
Rodger  :-p