SNAILS SLIME SUPER HIGHWAY

Paderborn, Germany (UPI)
A driver slammed into a bridge on the Autobahn. Apparently, a caravan of snails was crossing the road depositing a layer of slime causing the vehicle to spin out of control. Many of the snails escaped into the tall grass along the roadside according to police. (No officer, it was a herd of snails.  Honest!!!)
Protect your ass-ets,
Rodger :-p

ANIMALS FIGHTING BACK

Nairobi, Kenya (Reuters)

In an apparent planned attack, a monkey jumped on to a Kenya Electric Generating Company transformer. The suicide monkey transformer assault caused a nation wide blackout starting at 11:30 AM. KenGen officials claim that this was an isolated incident and the population shouldn't be alarmed. 

Protect your juice,

Rodger :-p

WHERE'S THE CAT???

Richmond, Texas (UPI)
Heather Tejeda walked out on her back porch at 6 AM to feed her cat. Luckily Heather was wide awake as she almost walked into the open mouth of an 8 foot alligator. This is the second event in a month and Heather is considering a fence. As of this post there is no report on the whereabouts of the cat. (This event reinforces that no move should be made until the second cup of coffee.)
Protect your domicile,
Rodger :-p

AUSTRALIANS ROUNDING UP COCKS.

Sydney, Australia (Reuters)
   The city of Hobart in the state of Tasmania are calling for folks to turn in their unwanted roosters. Apparently, feral roosters have become a problem as folks who raise chickens turn unwanted roosters loose. The city said the unwanted roosters would be euthanized. (I'm thinking fried.)
Protect your crowing,
Isom :-P

WHO WOULD HAVE GUESSED?

Salem, Oregon (Reuters)
A group of goats brought in by the City to maintain a city park and protect against invasive plants has been fired. Apparently they smelled like goats.
Protect your plants,
Isom :-P