I hate lawnmowers when I'm trying to nap too.

Sydney, Australia (Reuters)
   A 500 kg (I'm not sure how many pounds that is) Croc named Elvis was trying to take a nap. Two workers with a lawnmower were apparently disturbing Elvis (been there boy). Elvis lunged and attacked the lawnmower. The Croc punctured the tires and tore up the throttle (I've wanted to do that a few times myself). Everybody is pretty much staying out of Elvis' way for awhile.
Protect your nap time,
Rodger  ;-P

Off for the holidays.

Sorry loyal readers. Posts have been more erratic than normal due to the holidays.
Orlando, Fla (Reuters)
   A west Florida community is spending $3,800 in tax dollars to lure German nudists there for summer vacations. I bet if they put an add in the local paper the city would get donations to pay for the cost of "luring German nudists." Just saying, nothing like community involvement in civic projects.
Protect your ass-ets, use sun block,
Rodger :-P

A new meaning for "Rocky Road."

Ft. Wayne, Ind (AP)
   A wrecked semi-trailer closed two lanes of I-69. The semi was carrying a load of ice cream which spilled out and froze the two southbound lanes with various flavors of ice cream. I'm not sure how one would clean this up. I'm thinking lots of spoons and grade school kids. But that's just me.
Protect your sweets,
Rodger  ;-)

Sooo how about that curse thing?

Bucharest, Romania (AP)
   Two witches have been arrested on blackmail and extortion charges. Apparently, these two would charge fairly low rates until clients got used to their services and then the two magic folks would up the prices to break curses etc. If the clients didn't like the new prices, well then the witches would start casting spells and such. No fraud charges were brought against the two.  Apparently, folks in Romania take witchcraft rather seriously.
Protect your ass-ets,
Rodger ;-P

Sometime taking your punishment might be easier.

Stockton, Ca. (AP)
   18 year old George Herrera had been out past curfew. Not wanting to get in trouble George tried to sneak back into the house...through the chimney. Yup, didn't work. When fireman arrived they could just see George's feet sticking out into the fireplace. George got close, but no cigar. George was stuck in the chimney about 90 minutes. I'm not sure how long George is grounded.
Protect your ass-ets,
Rodger ;-P

They walk among us.

Eugene, Ore (AP)
   Two men being chased by police tried to get rid of the marijuana they were carrying. Being chased by the police at speeds of up to 100 mph, these two ripped open bags of marijuana and flung them out the car windows...which hit the police cars...and was captured on the dash cam. Didn't work.
Protect your ass-ets,
Rodger   ;-P

Well that should get the old heart started.

Hopatcong, New Jersey (AP)
   With a town named Hopatcong, things are probably strange all the time. Anyway, the cable dude arrived to fix the cable. The repairman went down into the basement to check the incoming line. And there, the fellow found a sleeping bear!!! Remembering to always "let sleeping bears lie," the fellow left the basement. Before fish and game arrived the yawning bear ambled out of the house and down the street. Geeez, guess a fellow just can't take a nap anymore.
Protect your wild-life,
Rodger :-)

And that's why no one shows up at the rallies.

Beaver, Pa. (AP)
   Davon Jeter was on trial for possession. Davon's attorney was arguing that anyone in the car could have been the owner of the marijuana. And, Davon should not be the one charged. This defense might have worked except Davon had ask the arresting officer, "Can I have my weed back?"
Protect your ass-ets,
Rodger ;-P

Frankly, I don't know what to say.

Cedar Falls, Iowa (AP)
   Thieves steal a tractor trailor full of margarine. I'm not sure why. Probably should hook up with Brizilains with the 50 tons of corn. Pop corn?
Protect your ass-ets,
Rodger ;-P

Now that's just cold.

Brookville, Pa. (AP)
   Scott Bennet had missed too many days of work and was afraid he would get fired. Old Scott put and obit in the local paper that his mom had died. That way Scott could miss and get paid at the same time. Trouble is Scott's mom and relatives saw the obit and called saying the mom wasn't really dead and what was the deal. Scott has been charged with disorderly conduct and he's getting no presents this Christmas.
Protect your ass-ets,
Rodger ;-P

Wow, they are good.

Rio de Janeiro, Brazil (AP)
   Thieves steal 50# of corn from a moving train!!!!  These folks greased the track which made the train wheels slip and slow down. The thieves then used a wrecker and chains to jerk the containers off the moving traing. Wow!!! But why corn??//
Protect your g-rains,
Rodger ;-P

Duuuuhhhhh!!!

Rochester, N. H. (AP)
   A lady bingo player decided to bring out the "big luck guns" at her local bingo parlor. She brought an urn containing her mother's ashes for good luck. Somebody stole the urn. Wonder what they thought when they found the ashes?
Protect your ash-es,
Rodger ;-P

Really?? No Really??? Tweet outta the gene pool!!!!!

Albuquerque, New Mexico (AP)
   For some unkown reason, three men walked into and Abuquerque diner and highjacked a dozen rolls of toilet paper. (No I don't know why.) These three proceeded to get in their car and try to leave. These three bright boys were already under police surveillence and were promptly arrested for toilet paper highjacking!!!
Protect your toil-ets,
Rodger B-P

Wood chippers can fly???

Plymouth, Mass. (AP)
  A 6 inch, 5 pound piece of metal fell from the sky and punched a hole in the roof of a furniture warehouse. The FAA says the piece of metal didn't come from a plane. The FAA said the metal looked like a piece of a wood chipper. So what's a wood chipper doing flying......???? Never mind.
Protect your ro-of,
Rodger ;-P

They walk (and drive) among us.

Newton, N.C. (AP)
   Douglas Southard has been charged with drunk driving. Seems old Doug crashed his car into the "Booze it and lose it" mobile drunk driving check point command center. Yup old Doug smashed into the back of the command center which was parked on the side of the road. Yup, old Doug gets to report directly to sterilization. Tweeeet, outta the gene pool.
Protect your ass-ets,
Rodger  ;-P

Where's Waldo???

Milford, Conn. (AP)
   Waldo, a 700# Angus bull, escaped Nov. 20. Waldo has managed to escape being roped. When his hide out fenced off, Waldo broke through a steel fence to freedom. Folks are still are trying to find ways to capture the escapee but Waldo remains on the run. Kinda hard for a 700# bull to hide,but Waldo is pulling it off.
Protect your cow-girls,
Rodger  ;-P

Dog gets even.

Salt Lake City, Utah (AP)
   A duck hunter got out of his boat to pick up decoys. While bending over to pick up the decoys his dog shot the hunter in the butt with the hunter's own gun. Police have been unable to determine if a prior incident led to the dog's assault of his human.
Protect your ass-ets (no, really),
Rodger :-P

Probably should have changed costumes.

Leesburgh, Virginia (AP)
   Two zebras escaped from a zoo. They were hiding out in a residential neighborhood. Apparently the two escapees were waiting on a train. I'm thinking the stripes gave them away.
Protect your assets,
Rodger ;-P